Saturday, January 31, 2009

About Gays and Trans

It is interesting to see how often we damn things that we can’t understand or not try to understand as unacceptable. Our society seems to love prosecuting people for just being who they are. Many just can’t seem to accept people just being different.

In this article, I will attempt to show how different are they from the conventional view.

Firstly, I feel that there is a need to define the difference between gays and trans. Gay refers to homosexual which can be used for both male and female. In the nutshell, gays are comfortable to be in the body which they are born with whereas trans (transsexual and transvestite) are people who feel that they are born in the wrong gender. So please don’t go on assuming all gay wants to go for a sex change. It just shows how stereotyping you really are.

Like most of us, I was brought up in an environment where we condemn gays and trans. At that time, I would feel disgusted at the presence of sissy, wondering what’s wrong with their mind. Loved to talk bad about butches (female who dress like male) and joking about gays having a good time in army since they get to see free porn. Enjoyed making Changi a sightseeing spot as there are trans for display. Purposely hurting feminine male friends with sarcasm and wishing them to change for the better. Yeah, I had been through that. It is a firm belief that guys should act like guys and girls should act like girls (I just realized that Malaysia actually banned tomboys with the same reason -_-). When I recall those days now, I can’t help but find my behavior childish and arrogant.

Who is to decide how guys or girls should act ?_?. Science has already shown that all of us have both male and female hormones. As a matter of fact, we are born female in the first place, before the male hormones start to develop. So why must female wear skirts while males wear pants. We are of both sexes.

From young, we are bought up in the way that the society wants us to be. Only girls can have Barbie while boys play with transformers. Girls stay at home playing music, while boys go for outdoor games. It is all predetermined by humans. Not by God nor the Universe. If God gives you free will, why will it want to control your choice of doing what you want? Why can't it just control your mind to not think otherwise.

Loving the same gender is a preference. Just like some people who like their mate to be slim while the others like them to be plump. Some like tall while some like petite. Some wants their mate to be beautiful while the others shrug of it. It is just a preference. Why condemn it? It is like condemning a guy looking for a girlfriend with long hair. You may not like it but you won’t condemn him for liking it. Everyone has their choice.

They just don’t feel anything for the opposite sex. It is just like I won’t feel excited looking at a naked guy, gays and trans feel the same. They don’t feel anything towards opposite sex. My gay friend actually commented that even if Fiona Xie stands naked in front of him, he will not feel anything. Forcing them to like the opposite sex is like asking you to have sex with someone of your same gender. If you are a male, try kissing a male friend. If you can't entertain the thought, stop forcing them in the same way.

They are not diseased. I often wonder why many people act as if they are carrying a virus. I remembered that asked my mum on her view on gays, she stated that it is a sickness. How ridiculous isn’t it? But in reality, I believe many of us will think like my mum too, hoping that there is a cure for it. Religions condemn them saying that it is a sin and medical condemn them by saying homosexual has higher chance of AIDS. It reminds me of the days where women were burnt just because they worshiped a different God. Now we have a society condemning gays and trans just because they have different preference.

They are not hungry ghosts
. It is funny to see some people assume that gays and trans will chase after everyone of their gender if they see them. Oh please… Please don’t assume that they have the same habit as you. They are actually selective… and in fact, some are very selective. They don’t go “You’re a guy then I want you!” ....

They are stronger and braver than many of us. They dare to accept their uniqueness and they have the courage to go for what they believe in. There is a movie called Beautiful Boxer which is based on true story. It is about a transsexual who went into Thai Boxing to earn money to become a woman. It is a great show about courage in achieving what you want.

Embracing femininity is not a weakness
. It is an old and stupid thinking that masculinity is more superior... The world won't be in its current state if the rulers, the corporations, the politicians and us had embraced our feminine side and showed more compassion, kindness, love, listening ear... These are what a truly powerful being should possess.

They are also human. Like you and I, they have feelings too. They want to be loved, to be hug, to be cared for and to be treated just like any other human beings. They are not freaks. They are just like us, trying to live in this world. Some of us (even friends) like to joke about their sexuality which can be very hurtful. Do unto others what you want others to do unto you. Think in their shoes.

It is sad to see that there are so much pressure from the society to the gays and the trans. They have to hide their affairs and their preference from the public and their love ones. Some have to be in a relationship of opposite sex to avoid unnecessary mutter from people around them. Which eventually causes pain for both parties. In dictionary, gay also means having or showing a merry, lively mood. Why can’t we just let them happy about their choices?

Lets try to see them as humans like everyone of us who just have a different preference. Love them for who they are. They are really wonderful people who are born in a suppressed world.

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