It is scary to realize that how conditioned I am towards the fear of darkness when I went for my run this morning at 5.30am.
It is intriguing to see the amount of negative thoughts that ran through my mind just because I perceived darkness in my surrounding. During my run, I started to imagine stray dogs attacking me from the dark. (somehow in my reality dogs come out in dark and are broader when there are no lights.... wonder where i get this ridiculous assumption from) Fear of running into ghosts. Fear of meeting hooligans that is going to rob or beat me. Fear of snakes that may come out from the grasses. Fear of stepping on snails and animals on the path during to darkness. It actually makes me wanted to turn back and just run on the jogging path which is away from nature and seemingly safer. By entertaining the thoughts, it actually increased my heartbeat and warily looking around.
Just a small tree standing in the darkness will make me jump as I imagine it to be a man or something. It reminds me of the days in the nature where I am all tense up if I hear a twig snap, imagining it to be a beast moving about. All these imaginations don't happen when I jog with sunlight.
Why did these happen? Where and when did I cultivated these habits of ridiculous thinking that makes me worry for nothing? Firstly, it maybe in our gene that we inherently fear the unknown. Being in the unknown will freak most of us out. For example, going on stage to make a speech is an unknown territory to many people. You won't know how people will react to your speech. Which makes fear public speaking actually the greatest fear above the fear of death.
Secondly, I believe is our upbringing. I remembered the days where I was taught that if I dont go to bed early, monster will attack me in the darkness. Indians (dark people) will abduct me if I am not behaving nice or go out to play alone. Ghost will pull my legs if I go swimming in the dark and many more dark based fear.
Then comes the television. All the ghosts and Pontianak which will appear in the dark. The news that keep focusing on people getting attacked at night. TV programmes that always show bad people only do their evildoings at night etc etc etc.
With all these wonderful education we are getting, how can we not fear darkness which is totally unnecessary. If i had bowed to my fear just now, I would not have the great time I had just now. Because that I don't entertain the thoughts eventually, nothing happens at all.
Try facing darkness. You may love the silent and serenity like I do. ^o^