Thursday, June 10, 2010

A little separation is better than a new marriage (小别胜新婚)

Yahoo! Yeah! My girlfriend Niki is finally coming back from Japan tomorrow. It has been 1 month and 2 weeks since we are forcibly separated by her choice *roar!*. While I came back for reservist, she continued to stay until now -_-. Gonna bite her when she comes back lol.

Frankly speaking, though I missed her like crazy, this little separation did a lot of good for both of us. Firstly, needless to say that we longed for each other and that rekindled the love passion (burning with ferocity~ ouch!) and make us cherish each other more. When you are around each other for too often, you start to take each other for granted (Isn't that the reason why we usually take our family for granted since they are always around?) So I guess that is the Chinese saying, 小别胜新婚 holds true to its words.  Secondly, we both grew in our own ways.

For me, I had my first experience of taking the plane alone. Yeah, mock me lol. What to do.... I had never traveled overseas alone before. All my experiences are either with my parents or mostly with Niki. I just followed the flow that's all. So it gave me a feeling that I had grown up a little. ^_^ 

Secondly, I took up courses and activities which I mostly likely will not do when I am with her. The reason is that we are like Siamese twins (always sticking together). Other than work time, we are mostly around each other. When we planned for any course, it must fit both our schedule which make it more difficult to source. In the end, we did not have our own individual pursues. Due to this opportunity, being away from each other forces us to find our own activities for our free time. And I found lots of activities for myself such as Hapkido, drawing, watching Who's line is it anyway, swimming, learning Japanese.... woah I'm packed lol. I am now happier than ever, knowing that I am actually growing in my soul again.

Thirdly, there is a strong motivation to show her how had my physique changed over the month. It pushes me to do my best during my weights training so I can wow her with my body. The greater the shock, the greater the accomplishment. ^o^

As for her, you will have to check out with her. Last I heard was that she lost 5 inches on her waist due to her extensive strolling everyday. Oh my god! To me that is an amazing feat considering the fact that she been trying to do it for years and wasn't able to achieve it.

So people, if next time you feel that your relationship has come to a stagnation or feeling like having a change. try getting away from each other for at least a month. See how it rekindle the flame and create amazing things for each of you. ^_^

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Fun with Words (My Rest Day)

Was thinking about when should I set my rest day for my week when I suddenly felt the urge to just have fun writing a poem lol.

So here is it.

Warning! I am a bad poet (and its fun being one). So read at your own risk. ^o^

My Rest Day
Today is my lovely day,
To keep everything at bay.
Oh~ I feel so happily gay,
To use it as my wonder hay.
This is my one and only day,
So please don't block my lovely way.
I may sound a little hey,
If I'm feeling big okay. 
Or else I just freaking may.......
Make sure that you pay and lay %@#^%$

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

When Bad isn't Bad

How bad is bad? Is bad really bad? How do you define bad? What is bad? Interestingly, I had this thought recurring in my head while I was swimming today.

We often associate bad with something that is poor or negative. He is a bad performer. She is a bad singer. He is a bad speaker. There are lots of things that I am bad at now. Basketball, soccer, drawing, playing guitar, dancing... Errr I better stop here.... I have too much to list and I don't want to get finger clamps.

The thing is, whenever people think that they are bad at something, they will normally avoid it. Often they had only tried once and then self-proclaimed that "Damn! I am bad at this." Then you will not see them doing it ever again. If you ask someone to dance, draw, paint or give a speech on stage, the respond will be most likely be, "No, I am bad at it."  I know because I am a member too (still mustering the courage to try more and more things I am bad at).

Why is it that way? Through reflection, I realized that when we defined ourselves as bad in something, we are normally saying that we are stupid in it or I looked like an idiot doing it. Ego wants to protect itself at all cost. We have very negative association with the term 'bad'. The truth is, bad is not necessary that bad.

Being bad in something actually only mean that we lack practice not talent. It is not saying that there is something wrong with your IQ. Will you laugh at a baby for being bad at talking when the only word that she can only say is MmmMmmaaaMaamaaa. Will you despise a toddler for being bad at walking if he continuously falls over while learning how to move his legs? No? Then why are we doing it to ourselves then? Doing it to each of our very own fragile and sensitive inner child. We ain't stupid. We are just not skilled enough that's all. Thank God that in those days I do not think as much as I do now. Or else, I will not even know how to speak or walk now! I may be thinking, "Oh what the heck, I suck in this! I never going to do it again!" Hallelujah......*Head bowed, thanking from the deepest of my heart* Whew...Even though I am still bad at English now... BUT! It is just due to lack of training and listening. I can improve. There is nothing wrong with my brain. ^_^

We all started out being bad in whatever we do. I started from sinking and paddling like a dog until being able to swim 20 laps non-stop today. It just takes time and repetitions. Secretly, I can even consider myself as an artist now. Just a bad artist that's all. Well at least I am an artist! :OP

So don't be afraid to be bad at anything. Start trying what you are bad at today. You may love it just as I love learning new language and martial arts now (I always considered myself to slow and stupid to learn any of those). Like a baby, we all started doing badly. And like a baby, we should all have fun. So please protect your inner child. ^_^

Have lots of fun.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Learning Hapkido

Yesterday, I went for my first lesson in Hapkido. It was a wonderful experience. I really enjoyed myself a lot. In fact, I like it so much that I am positive that this is the only community center course that I am going to stick till the end. Lol. (Been joining several courses and non lasted)

I had been wanting to learn martial arts for as long as I could remember. However, when I was younger, I doubted my physique and intelligence could handle it. And when I was older, I was too embarrassed to join because in most community center courses, one had to attend it with kids and people much younger than me. The same thoughts kept formulating in my mind. "What if even they can beat me? Will they mock at my clumsiness? What if I am a slow learner?" Blah blah blah blah. As a result, after 29 years, I still haven't master any form of martial arts. -_-

Recently, due to picking up body building and Japanese language, I finally realized that everyone has to start as a total amateur. For example, I can't expect myself to lift 80kg or make a decent conversion with a Japanese chick (Damn!) without any training. It just takes time and effort to master anything and period. No short cuts. Even geniuses started from white belts. I thought if something has to change, it has to be my fear of embarrassment. It has been limiting me a great deal in my life. So? Jump in! How to learn swimming without getting wet right? So I proceeded to sourcing for martial art courses.

As I tend to travel pretty much, I want to learn something that is practical too. Something that I can protect my love ones when in need. When I was checking on the courses, Hapkido jumped out to me. It got me interested as I had never heard of it before. And it is a totall ynew course in my nearest community center. In fact, it is pretty new in Singapore too. As I went You tube to check it out and it got me hooked. It is prominently a defense skill (such as throwing and pinning) but incorporated with strikes and kicks. It is just the ideal art for me! Defend and attack if absolutely needed. That are all the hints I need from Universe to sign up for it. And the aftermath? I found myself in lot of fun. ^o^

Oh ya, there are kids in the course. Actually, I am the eldest other than the two coaches. The second oldest student there is only 16 year old lolz. Shouldn't it be embarrassing as I thought? In reality, no one cares whether you are kicking well enough or not. Everyone is so busy with their own stuffs that no one gives a damn on how you do or looked (except the coaches of course). It reminded me of the phrase, "When you realized how little others think about you, you will think less about how others think about you." How true....How true..... In the end, I had a lot of fun and it actually brings the benefit of being able to busk in the youthfulness of the youngsters. It makes me feel young again ^o^

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Going Back to Veganism

I was a vegan from June 09 till Oct 09. I was in Japan during Oct 09 for 2 weeks. Over there, there is a severe lack of vegetarian food. To them, vegetarianism comes with fish. Pure vegetarian is an alien concept to them. In addition, vegetable meals are more expensive than meat itself. For example a single Vege-burger can cost up to 500 yen while a gyuu-don set (beef rice with soup) cost only 290 yen. It also created a lot of difficulty for my uncle when he brought me out to eat because vegetarian food is basically non-existence there. It led me thinking that whether am I creating too much problems for others. To ease the trouble in Japan, I took meat since.

I recalled flaring up easily when I can't seem to find any vegetarian food. Frankly speaking, even in Singapore, most vegetarian food are either too oily or too much MSG. There is also a lack of variety and availability and it often makes me crazy. In addition, they are usually higher priced than other food.

My family members were also worried about my loss of weight. During my transition, I lost 5 kg (Those who want to lose weight without exercising can consider this ^_^). To them, the loss of weight is an unhealthy sign. Therefore, during each meal, I am almost guaranteed a preaching on how taking moderate meat is important too. At the start of November, I gave up and went back to meat eating. (Weak willed... haha) However, deep now I know something is not right.

These few days, I had several messages from Universe that I should get back to my vegan dietary. It is so obvious that I can't bring myself to ignore it. Firstly, the message from 'Man in the mirror' got me thinking about what changes I can make to myself. And today, while I was reading the newspaper, they actually had 28 pages of saving Gaia article! What is the odds of that! The recurring message was, 'Change into vegan dietary to save ourselves, others and Earth.' To reciprocate, I decided that some place, somewhere, someone has to begin it. So why not me? 0_0

So what can I do to overcome the issues I had before (lack of variety and availability). Interestingly, due to my recent journey on body building (1 week now), I am more concerned on the food which I put into my mouth. I am starting to appreciate plain food, that is without salt, oil or sugar. Due to the fact that I have to take several meals, in order to save time and maintain the foods' nutrients, I either eat them raw or steamed. In just a few days, I can feel my tongue evolved. I can actually taste their original sweetness and fragrance which I had never knew before. I guess artificial seasonings are like drugs which actually messes up our taste buds.

As such, the taste and variety aren't an issue anymore. I will prepare my own food wherever I go ^_^. Just raw and steamed food. How much simpler can it be lolz.

You may wonder how is it possible to do body building in vegan dietary? Hee, check this website out. It is possible, just require the effort and discipline that's all. So lets start with the man in the mirror. Its time to make it right again and make my change. ^_^

'I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change'
- Man In the Mirror, By Michael Jackson

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Man In The Mirror - Michael Jackson

Was blessed to be reminded of this song by May. The song has such a profound message within that it gave me shiver when I listened to it again.

I'm gonna make a change,
For once in my life
It's gonna feel real good,
Gonna make a difference
Gonna make it right...

As I turn up the collar on
My favorite winter coat
This wind is blowing my mind
I see the kids in the streets,
With not enough to eat
Who am I to be blind?
Pretending not to see their needs
A summer disregard,a broken bottle top
And a one man soul
They follow each other on the wind ya' know
Cause they got nowhere to go
That's why I want you to know

I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change

Beautiful isn't it? It all starts with me.

Thank you May for sharing with me.
Thank you Michael
Thank you to the writers and composers.
Thank you for such wonderful song.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Honesty - Opinion vs Truth

I was indulging in Sonia Choquette's Trust Your Vibes when I came across something she wrote which gave me a bang in the head. She related about the story of her client who tried to live a life of honesty by telling everybody what she felt in exactly the way she felt it. It back-lashed on her and she couldn't understand why since she was told by her therapist that being truthful is the only way to be happy.

This is a reflection of my personal story too. Being a avid reader of Steve Pavlina's writings, I thought that being honest about my feelings is the only way to empower my life. However, in reality, it created lots of sour after taste and isolated me with others. Many times, I was called tactless, insensitive, not listening, brutal and it often left me wondering what the hell had I done wrong. All I wanted was to be honest and help others. In the end, it isolated me further, thinking that many people can't handle the truth and had me convinced that truth hurts.And maybe, it has to hurt.

Finally... after so long, I realized what's wrong with my mindset and approach. There is a difference between truth and opinion.  Sonia wrote that 'Opinions can isolate and assault, while genuine truth, even though it may be hard to hear. never attacks anyone - instead, it fosters understanding and mutual respect. In other words, being truthful means speaking without hurting yourself or others.'

Woah la.This is my missing link. I had been shooting my opinions regardless of whether people will get hurt by my words or not. Regardless of how good my intention was, when it hurts, it sucks and will retaliate. In the end, it hurts me too. Now I understand that being truthful is an art and it requires effort and discipline whereas shooting opinions face blank is no-brainer. Its like aim and shoot vs shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot.

Understanding this, I have more things to improve on. Woohoo Won't you agree that the ability to express without hurting others or myself is a wonderful skill to master? New goal in life. Thank you Sonia for the wonderful insight ^_^