I was indulging in Sonia Choquette's Trust Your Vibes when I came across something she wrote which gave me a bang in the head. She related about the story of her client who tried to live a life of honesty by telling everybody what she felt in exactly the way she felt it. It back-lashed on her and she couldn't understand why since she was told by her therapist that being truthful is the only way to be happy.
This is a reflection of my personal story too. Being a avid reader of Steve Pavlina's writings, I thought that being honest about my feelings is the only way to empower my life. However, in reality, it created lots of sour after taste and isolated me with others. Many times, I was called tactless, insensitive, not listening, brutal and it often left me wondering what the hell had I done wrong. All I wanted was to be honest and help others. In the end, it isolated me further, thinking that many people can't handle the truth and had me convinced that truth hurts.And maybe, it has to hurt.
Finally... after so long, I realized what's wrong with my mindset and approach. There is a difference between truth and opinion. Sonia wrote that 'Opinions can isolate and assault, while genuine truth, even though it may be hard to hear. never attacks anyone - instead, it fosters understanding and mutual respect. In other words, being truthful means speaking without hurting yourself or others.'
Woah la.This is my missing link. I had been shooting my opinions regardless of whether people will get hurt by my words or not. Regardless of how good my intention was, when it hurts, it sucks and will retaliate. In the end, it hurts me too. Now I understand that being truthful is an art and it requires effort and discipline whereas shooting opinions face blank is no-brainer. Its like aim and shoot vs shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot.
Understanding this, I have more things to improve on. Woohoo Won't you agree that the ability to express without hurting others or myself is a wonderful skill to master? New goal in life. Thank you Sonia for the wonderful insight ^_^